I am a step-by-step kind of girl. I like activities that require me to follow instructions, and I am a planner by nature. So that’s why this summer, and all of it’s craziness, got broken down into distinct seasons.
First, I had to focus on the kid’s massive birthday party. That had to be planned and executed before I allowed myself to move onto focusing on our support raising trip. Then, it was focusing on San Diego first, then Lake Arrowhead. After that, I was allowed to look at touching base with contacts back here in Houston. Then, and ONLY THEN, was I allowed to purchase anything baby related (a car seat and stroller are now on their way). It was my only way to cope with the massive amount of projects that were on my plate.
Now, as we are coming to the end of the summer and the season of “many massive changes,” I find myself saying to God… “um, you know, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re kiiiiiiiinda running out of time. Just, you know, in case you have lost track…”
And that is really, truly how I feel. The #1 question of the summer has been, “when are you going to Austin?” My answer has been, and continues to be, “as soon as we are fully supported, but hopefully by the end of August. ” Ideally, we hoped to be moved before the start of the school year and definitely before baby makes it’s appearance.
But, here we are, almost 35 weeks pregnant, school starting next week, and we are pretty far from our support goal. And as much as I am trying very, very hard to “look at the birds,” I can’t help but wonder what we are supposed to do. Are we supposed to double down and make it happen? Are we supposed to accept that the Lord may not want us to move yet? How do I balance faith that He is going to meet our needs and still remain flexible to His plans?
It is not without irony that this morning I said to Kirk, “I think we might be running out of time.” Today is our little Ember’s 2nd birthday. And 2 years ago, I was waking up every day noting our diminishing time frame. Summer was coming to an end and my sweet mother-in-law Kathy was going back to work – who would watch our kids while we were in the hospital? This baby needed to be BORN. I thought that every day for a solid two weeks before that fateful August 17. It was a Friday, baby was already 3 days late, and we were just about to leave for my doctors appointment where we were going to talk about an induction. As we were about to get in the car, my water broke. And I laughed and laughed because, truly, it was the VERY LAST MINUTE. Having baby on Friday would mean we would come home on Sunday, and Kathy went back to work Monday. I just smiled at God, so thankful that He did indeed have a good plan for me, that He had not neglected to see where we were at.
And I cling to that today, that He has a plan, and that He knows our needs. That He sees our work and knows our hearts and is working with us and for us and through us. I ask you all today to pray with us for discernment, for provision, for patience. That we would rest in the Lord, that we would not grow weary, that we wold be sensitive to what the Lord wants for our family to do.
Proverbs 16:9 – ” In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”
Thank you all for loving on us and walking with us We are excited to see the miraculous way God leads us yet again.
Love, love, love,