Day 88: A Cloud of Doors

It has been a whirlwind. Every aspect of our lives, every responsibility, every thought, emotion, and dream has been tested, examined, given to the Lord, taken back, and still we wrestle. This time of testing is different, somehow, more introverted, more quiet…It seems we have moved on from dealing with sin in our lives to a deeper, more probing look at our dreams and desires, our goals and how the align with God’s will, and our willingness to let God take it all. I have long felt a peace that I want exactly what God has for me in life. I trust that His plans are much wider than my own… and He is testing that! We are at a point now where there are far more questions than answers. It’s like a hallway filled with doors. Which ones do we open, and will they get us where we want to go? It has brought to light some very interesting parts of my personality. I am a planner. I make lists, I draw graphs, I daydream, I research ’til I just can’t any more. And this new season we are in is testing that, breaking that. It is hard, but wonderful. Trying to think about our future and what a move into Missions means for it has forced me to reconcile two conflicting parts of my nature: Trusting God and planning everything. So many questions: Is it ok to go into Missons thinking about how it can help you down the road? Is it ok to have an end goal in mind? Does that mean we are not trusting God? I think that both trust and forethought can coexist, as long as you maintain in your heart the flexibility that God has a plan and you probably don’t know what it is. Move forward in expectant joy, but don’t hold an iron fist on your plans.Our plans right now are a muddle – so much is up in the air. Nothing is dependent on any one thing, it is just a matter of things settling into position. In response to the common question: “so what’s new with the mission stuff?” all I can say is, “everything is crazy, but it’s ok.” It’s like we are in a cloud of possibilities. I’ll keep you all posted as things come to light. Please keep praying for us that the Lord would be clear about direction, that He would define our sense of purpose, that He would give us peace and that we would have discernment and joy.
“Your ears will hear a word behind you, ‘This is the way, walk in it…’” Isaiah 30:21


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