Be strong in the LORD and never give up hope,
You’re going to do great things, I already know,
God’s got His hand on you so don’t live life in fear,
Forgive and forget, but don’t forget why you’re here.
Those words hit me in my car today (thank you Sidewalk Prophets) and I was moved to pray and thank the Lord. We are beginning to share our vision with our friends and family, asking them to come alongside us as we move forward into possible “great things”. We spoke at length with Matt, our placement advisor, today, and we are to a much more tangible part of the application process. It’s make it or break it time, and we feel the decision rising…
It takes so much more faith than I expected for us to step out, and so much less pride. I feel steadfast in some areas, and Kirk in others, and yet I think we both think the same thought: “What if we move forward, and it doesn’t come through. What will people think…” And yet, as often as we think it, we are met with the answer: that it doesn’t matter…that we are already so changed by just opening this avenue to the Lord, and we are loving every minute.
As we are beginning to share, we are hearing more and more often how difficult it is to raise funds; some say it’s just impossible in this economy. Now, I have felt a ridiculous sense of peace about this, which is not normal for me. But, today, I really felt discouraged. I was feeling the weight of our goal, the doubts that we aren’t meant to go. And I prayed. Lord, Lord! Help me to hear your wisdom from the people that I respect and go to for counsel. Help me to weigh out prudence and faith, to know when to press forward and when to hold back. Help me to know Your wisdom and guidance… As I was praying, Kirk called. “You won’t believe what happened at work today.” Oh, my heart dropped; did he get laid off? Did his car get hit? But then he said, “One of my employees, who is not a believer, came up to me and said, ‘Kirk, it’s so weird, I had the craziest dream about you! I had a huge pile of money, but I knew half of it was supposed to go to you, so I gave it to you! I don’t know what it means to you, but I bought lottery tickets!’” and I just cried.
Lord, really? Are you this clear? Can you give confirmation like this? Peace and joy and down-right hysteria flooded me. I just absolutely cannot wait to see what this adventure with the Lord is going to bring.